What a long time since I last blogged

I've been busy and tired and not much has happened, except I've excitingly started storyboarding the movie with James....more on this soon!

An exciting thing happened yesterday

I was on Mark and Lard! Their phones went down for the mystery man game, and Graham got in there instantly with an email with the phone number and they called back! It was fun actually, despite my miserable loss - in my defense it was a little hard to make it out clearly - if I'd heard the penultimate clue right I'd have been there :D You can Listen again to it here, but only for a limited time - it's mystery man from 23/2/04. I'd also have won if I'd had my mobile on as Ed sent me a text message with the right answer on it. D'oh! They are apparently sending me something anyway, which is nice - more on that later...

Just fantastic

Amazing amazing amazing sbemail - you need to know a bit about Homestarrunner first!

Nirvana

Radio two is doing a documentary on Nirvana and is looking for memories and comments from people. I've copied here what I submitted to them

I was indeed grunging at this time. In 1994 I was 17, long hair and my jeans were more hole than jeans. Of course, my thumbs popped through the sleeves of my jumper. I think the anger and tension in the music appealed to the more than just ordinary teenage angst I felt at the time. I remember after an altercation in the street with some 'orrible folks shouting insults at me because of my hair, I went into my attic bedroom and put Lithium on at crazy volumes and screamed along with every word.

The day he died, before I heard, I had ripped my Nirvana poster by accident whilst moving it and my friend Dave had typed out the lyrics to Smells Like Teen Spirit three times in different fonts the same day. When I heard the first thing I did was phone Dave to see if he'd heard and check that he was ok - in that melodramatic way that teenagers have, I was worried that he or some of my other fairly fragile friends would do something similar to Kurt. In fact several years two of my male friends about Kurt's age took their own lives.

I think that his iconic status is a tribute to the fact that he had an extrodinary charisma - he was beautiful to look at (this coming from a straight male!) and he had an amazing integrity in his music. He also really profoundly expressed the sense of disenchantment and confusion that the post-thatcherite/reaganite era children felt about themselves, their families and the society they found themselves in. Nirvana provided an expression for this, partly because their music became so well known and widespread, and could be shared by people who felt similarly, but also because there really was genius at work.

As for favourite track, it's a difficult one, there's lots I could pick - About a Girl, (because it's the one like playing on the geetar the best!) Lithium, ((because it's awesome ;) , but I think, my very favourite tune is actually a cover they did with the Meat Puppets during the Unplugged recording called Oh Me - maybe it's because I'm older and considerably wiser now and have slowed down a bit. I always get excited when teen spirit comes on the radio though!

I'm in mourning

No more Mark and Lard?!!?!?!?!? It's just wrong...

What is, or is not, a biscuit?

I need information and opinion please! For reasons best understood by myself, I have decided to forego the eating of biscuits and cheese. Now, what is, or isn't cheese is very easy to categorise. But what of the biscuit? I know a digestive is definately a biscuit. I am confident about the biscuitness of Fox's ginger crunch creams. But soon, I enter the realms of confusion.Is the Jacobs Club a biscuit? I am, of course, familiar with the old adage "If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our club." But do they mean that the whole item is a biscuit, or just that if you like your biscuit centres throroughly covered with chocolate in the context of a chocolate bar you should join their club? If it is the former, what does that make a twix? Is that a biscuit? Surely not, it must be a chocolate bar? Of course, the Jacobs Club is individually wrapped in a manner seldom found in a biscuit, but the famously orangey and or minty Viscount are wrapped as single items. And they are definately biscuits. Aren't they?

What an uncertain world we live in. Don't get me started on Wagon Wheels...

Local politics alert

Ths is something I find really interesting - This comes from "Black Country Churches Engaged" who describe themsleves as "the ecumenical body representing most of the sub-region's Christian denominations". Those of you who know me that I'm not a Christian at all, but I do have a lot of respect for the people involved in putting this together - it's in response to the growing threat of the BNP in local elections. The preamble says "The Churches of the Black Country encourage all to vote, and offer the following points to help voters decide how to cast their ballot. These questions are based on Christian values that are considered to be common to all people of good will. Christians believe that every person is created in the image and likeness of God. Therefore:

Do you, or does the candidate, recognise the innate dignity and equal value of all human persons?

Can you be confident that the person you vote for is able to respresent, and make judgements on behalf of, all the local community, regardless of their race, colour or faith?

Will the person elected work for the common good of all, not just one section of like-minded individuals?

Will his/her policies promote harmony, justice and cohesion within the community, so that no individual is marginalised, demonised or treated unjustly?

Do his/her policies feed on the fears of one group over another?

How will his/her policies promote the rich diversity of cultures living within the community?

Do his/her policies serve to promote good race relations, respecting the culture, language and faith of all?

This is all interesting stuff I think. I'm particularly interested in the question "Do his/her policies feed on the fears of one group over another?" Is that not, in some ways the essence of the hostile partisanship of a lot of mainstream politics - certainly it was normal political currency in the Thatcher era...Comments welcomed on this - I think it's nice to see the Churches standing up to the far-right - in the thirties, this was of course a big problem in Germany, with the catholic church not denouncing Hitler etc (I'm a bit short on facts for this argument!) The word interesting and it's derivatives appear a lot in this post!

Lovely things people have said, and what we should do about them

So, we're far from perfect eBay wise, and we make the odd mistake, but I do worry about the quality of other traders' services on eBay. Today we had an email from a customer who said (and I kid you not) "You offer an excellent service, and make online buying a pleasure
Other traders could certainly take a leaf from your book." Now - that to me sounds like one of them quotes you see on posters on buses which say "They made learning to drive fun and easy - JM, Solihull." I'd like to put some of our quotes on a website or something, but it seems a tad on the cheesy side! Should we put some quotes in our ads? What do you think? Comments welcomed...

Stars

Currently Listening to: Because, by The Beatles

The stars are out over Hamstead tonight. It's beautiful actually...I'm completely crazy for stars - love 'em to bits - when I lived in Africa, and then again in Aber I rarely took the time to appreciate them - it's like the song says, you don't know what you've got till it's gone. I do remember lying on my back in fields watching shooting stars at university fairly often. I also remember when my Dad came to visit us when we lived in Zimbabwe, the stars blew him away. We had gone to dinner at my friend Nyasha's family home. On the way back we realised it was the first night of winter, as we could see our breath for the first time that year. Dad stopped to lie on his back and look up at African skies...'tis fair burned on the old brain that...

Been to QE hospital today, where my mum is recovering from an operation to remove some polyps. Hospitals are really not nice at all. I tried to do some meditations there to put some good vibes in the air, because there's a tangible heaviness in the air. I read something somewhere about endemic mental illness in nation health staff and I'm really not surprised - it's gotta be incredibly tough to be in there day in day out. I'm always shocked by how poor patient care is - people really do get treated as part of a factory line. The need for cultural change is clear - once again I propose no solutions! Just maybe that prevention should be the raison d'etre of the NHS....

Beatles has finished - listening to LTJ Bukem's "Music" - I think it might be an Oakenfold mix, but whatever, it's an astounding piece of work. Haven't done the cv I need to do for application for funding - I'll keep you all posted!

Quick fix

Am poorly - here is a digest instead of a big long post

School of Rock rocks...

Self respect is very important for happiness and coping with the many confusions and difficulties of life and love and etc....

the new sbemail is amazing.

Nick Drake wrote lovely tunes

I really must get my application form in to screen west midlands...

Bad TV, Good TV, Bad Music, Good Music

So, first of all, I just have to apologise slightly for the edge of ranting that may appear from time to time in this post...

So, watching tv tonight, and saw A Question of Sport. This is undoubtedly the programme with the worst banter on television. Amusing sporting banter has an uncomfortable relationship with television. There are those who ply the trade with wit and class, such as the mighty Big Ron Atkinson. Then there are the lesser mortals, who hit the highs occasionally, but falter and languish in uncomfortable innuendo much of the time - I speak of you Ray Stubbs, and you Mark Lawrenson. But then, there are those souls destined not for a life of banter, but of the pursuit of higher matters, art perhaps, or classical music, but through an unfortunate twist of fate have ended up in a world of banter to which they can never belong, rendering them into a Brentian or Partridgesque figure. The queen of these must surely be Sue Barker. She makes Ally McCoist look like a comic genius. Which is some feat. She makes Frankie Detori look relaxed and authentic. Which is some feat.

The thing is, I like her - I think she's probably a really nice person, who doesn't want to banter. She's forced into it by team captains, first Parrott and now Detori, with McCoist a constant thorn in her side. They probably tell her after the show that it was amusing. And the QoS audience is the stuff of legend - they of the Argyle jumpers and polyester trousers (what's an Arglye Jumper anyway?). They used to laugh at Emlyn Hughes and Bill Beaumont, so that says something about their tolerance levels - they must be very understanding people.

On to my 2nd Bad TV target for the evening. Mad. About. Alice.

It's bad.

I mean it's really bad.

Two jokes on the trailers (the trailers mind you - the things designed to make you watch the show - the best bits - the comedic highlights if you will. The first showed Theakston (who I always rated as a presenter) playing football and Holden filming him - he said "Make sure you shoot my best side" and she said (wait for it) "What - the back of your head?" Excuse me - I need to stop for a moment to get my breath back, and maybe get a drink of water to recover from the hilarity. The second was the guy whose name escapes me who has been in the tesco ads and was in Gregory's girl doing some tricks with a yoyo to entertain some kids. He did walking the dog and cats cradle and then said "This one's called "Round the World" and he hit himself with the yoyo! Ha! Geddit. *sigh*

Ok - onto bad music. Blazing Squad might not be original targets but boy do they deserve it. I'm against violence of all kinds, but I think I would not be 100% against locking "The Squad" in a room with G Unit and D12...

Right - now the happier and more comfortable ground of good things. I've been watching a lot of downloaded episodes of Seinfeld - amazing. Frighteningly, awe inspiringly brilliantly written. Brilliantly performed and definately the best television comedy ever. Definately....well probably at least...

And on the subject of brilliantly written I heard a track that Westwood ("whassup my dog, my homie, yo dis track is da bomb - wait a minute, what's going on, why am I talking like this - aren't I English??!") played. It was an Eminem track which may or may not be new called Bully, and whilst I am certainly not a fan of his more out there vibe there's something incredible about the power of his honesty when he switches it on. He talks about the wars and "beefs" in hip hop with such authenticity and personal experience. I found it really moving if I'm honest...

right - dats it homeboys and homegirlz - catch ya laterz - peaceout...

currently listening to: the be good tanyas - rain and snow - feel I may need to de-hip-hop after that blast of Westwood...

Penguin Game Update

Ok - so for all you penguin gamers out there - I want totals - there's a new game out today apparently, but I can't get at - must be overwhelmingly popular

A joke!

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.
"Billy."
"And what is your question, Billy?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"
Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right - question time. Who has a question?" Another little boy puts up his hand.
George points him out and asks him what his name is.
"Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early? And fifth, where’s Billy?”

Penguin Batting Joy!

Now this is cool - my best score is 317.9 - any improvements on that?

currently listening to: No Rain, Blind Melon - shout to the early nineties massive...

Nice day today - very tired, but you don't want to hear about that! Having ever so much gyp with a tv we sold to a customer with a one year warranty which has turned out not to be valid. So we have to replace the telly, and then we'll sell the brukken one on eBay.gutted! Still, the chap is being ever so nice about it, which is a relief. On the +ive side a guy came to buy a server from us and went away with two - woot!

Free listing day on the bay on thursday for items starting at 99p or less - they are the source of much contention on the forums, some people love 'em, lots and lots hate them... I think overall it suits us nicely at the mo, as we have a plethora of relatively low value stuff to sell - will avoid ending the higher value goods either 3,5,7 or 10 days after the fld though, as eBay gets pretty clogged up...

Have booked the motor in for a service on Thursday - have the weight of procrastination lifted from my shoulders - also rang screen west midlands to ask the few questions I had about the application, so that's nearly ready to go! I don't think i'll hear till about 10 weeks after april 10th, so I'll be hanging on with baited breath - I really believe its a strong application though...

It's taken me about 10 minutes to write this - currently listening to Joni Mitchell: coffee and conversation, but am just about to skip it as I'm not really in a Joni place...Ahh...DJ Q - Optimum Thinking off Dope on Plastic on the React label...that's more like it! :o)

currently listening to: Buddy Holly, Not Fade Away

The fifties equivalent of hardcore techno baby!

Currently listening to: A Long December by Counting Crows - very loud still!

Least rock and roll rock and roll story ever. First of all - I'm sure tressapassing on train tracks is a serious matter, but its not exactly a coke-fuelled driving a roller into a swimming pool incident. Secondly, what the heckfire are they doing describing Noel saying "They don't do anything for me" about the Darkness as a "War of Words?!!?!?" - Oh the horror - what next? "They're not really my cup of tea." Or "Well, they're obviously very technically able, but the melody leaves me slightly cold." Think Justo was over reacting slightly with his comeback. Maybe I'm just instinctively siding with the mid nineties rock ledge because of my age...

currently listening to: A Horse with No Name, Neil Young.

Very loud in headphones - can't hear tappity tappity of keys. Went to a meeting of the Sandwell Multifaith Network at the Smethwick Gurudwara - nice to be in the company of those who are striving to improve their neighbourhoods and communities. The Bishop of Wolverhampton was there - I've met him a couple of times, he's a really nice chap. He's and anglican, married to an Irish Catholic woman, which makes him even groovier in my book. The meeting itself was ok, lots of concern being expressed about the growing popularity of the BNP in the black country. There's lots of active attempts to campaign against this going on amongst the Christian churches - nationwide I think - they're to be complimented on this I think.

(That's enough local politics - ed.)

What kind of day has it been?

Well a good one really - worked on script application funding form thingy...that's just about ready to go now - just need to give screen west midlands a ring to ask them a couple of questions. Sold a significant amount of stuff on "the Bay" as I won't be calling it from now on. Thinking of changing name of blog to eBay Gum...Speaking of eBay, am getting increasingly frustrated with people not paying postage when they pay by paypal, which cost us 20p since they then have to make another payment and we lose fees on that too. Ho hum...

Also tonight, went and played geetar in a practise studio with my friend Katie and her friend and drummer John. Very good fun - I think they are looking for a proper band member type person though, and I'm not that! Still, I do really really really enjoy playing music with people. Practise stuido is an interesting place - streams of people with guitars over their shoulders, all checking each other out to see who has the fanciest Axe! Glad to have been carrying Dave's Variax. Actually, in combination with his Pod I managed to get some really really nice tones...so yeah, a good time was had by all.

Politics

This post is in response to Bob Tidmarsh's comment asking me to post a little more about my political views, which I'm really grateful for. It's a difficult area for me, because I have entirely given up on the party political democratic system in this country (not just in this country, I have to say). I suppose my fundamental political belief can be summed up by the phrase "When we change, the world changes." The phrase is a slogan of the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University, an organisation who teach meditation throughout the world, and who I've been involved with for a little over 3 and a half years. What is important to me about that phrase is the idea that there is a way for the individual to make a difference. And it is not neccessarily the traditional methods which apply - I don't mean that one person can make a difference in the sense of direct action, or fundraising, or publicising a particular issue - although all these things can be extrodinarily valuable. More I mean that, and I hope the more cynical amongst you will forgive me for this but I speak from the heart, it is actually the person you are that can make the most difference. I think that your localised interactions with people have an incredibly far reaching impact, but I also think that we constantly interact with the wider world in ways we don't always understand, and that the impact of striving to live a truly valuable life is the biggest impact we can make.

I think the greatest problems facing the world to day are actually fundamentally personal problems rather than political ones. What I mean by this is that the things which really make the most difference to ones life are not economic, or political , or military, or really about outside circumstance at all, but are our relationships with ourselves and with other human beings. Of course the spheres of economics and politics are important, but really only in as much as they effect those relationships. When I look around, I constantly see parents passing on the issues and challenges that their parents passed to them to their kids, and teachers to their students and doctors to their patients ad infinitum. We are surrounded by cycles of dysfunction and sadness and these are the things which I think do the most damage. A generation ago a 50 year long cold war was fought to establish the domination of one creedo of economic and social policy over another, but the truth is the legacy of that is not freedom and justice, as it was claimed to be, but the politics and economics of greed and corruption (I'm not saying it would have been better the other way round btw!) In the world's most influential and powerful country there sits an unelected and unqualified president, whose domestic and foreign policy is dominated by the interests of powerful capitalist enterprise. I'm pretty sure (although only pretty sure) that the above statement is actually true and not just a crazed liberal conspiracy.

And truly, I believe that the only way to begin to change this is to change ourselves. The system will only be as good as the individuals in it. Bloody and violent revolutions have inevitably led to bloody and violent disappointments, but in quiet and peaceful personal revolution there lies an alternative which will be incredibly powerful and far-reaching, which can touch the huge number of lives of people we come into contact with and the countless number we don't even know about.

Caution, strong language

On a more conventionally party-political note - the following speech is an exerpt from my movie script - it will be cut into smaller sections in the final version of the script. It's taken from a scene at a party where the main character is rabbiting on under the influence of amphetamines - he's talking about the '97 general election night - apologies for the strong language and drugs references, it's a story which is based in my past rather than my present, but it does sort of sum up how I felt at the time :o)


"..and I mean I realy, really bought it you know. I’d been up all night, on my own, Sarah fast asleep, checking in with James on the phone from time to time to jump around when another one of the bastards got their comeuppance. Mellor standing there with these flashing breasts just behind his head, Martin Bell beating fucking Hamilton, Portillo. Glory of glories man, Portillo. He lost to a gay guy. Which made it even nicer somehow. And Peter Snow standing their, looking to me like he was as happy as I was, with his Tories under a cliff graphic burying more and more of the bastards. And his little flying star wars thing, blowing up these massive blue towers and replacing them with even bigger red ones. And I really believed it. Just for a little while I thought yes, this is it, these guys really are trying to make things better. Alright they’ve gone to the middle ground to try and win this thing, but maybe they really are gonna use that to try and do some good. And then it started to go wrong. There was the party, they’d won, and dawn was coming, and they kept showing these people dancing to things can only get better. Scary fucking souless dance music, this positive message without a heart, and without any truth, because things could get a lot fucking worse actually. And Kinnock was there looking sad and happy, and out of place and important and impotent, Mandleson grinning and eerie, and Prescott just bizarre you know, like your drunken embarrassing uncle jigging about to this music that meant nothing. And this went on and on and on. And you knew what was coming. The bastard came on t.v., waited till after dawn, and said it “A new dawn has broken has it not.” And that killed it for me. I mean really killed it. I thought, right then and there, I though “shit.” “I don’t believe you, you’re a liar.” This metaphor, so fucking crafted, and honed, and empty...the dawn breaks everyday man, and it sure is a symbol of hope and fucking goodness and the end of the darkness, but not when you’ve thought about the one-liner all night...

God, sorry....speed and politics, bad combination. "

copyright me 2004 !!

Right - that's enough politics for one day! Normal service will be resumed shortly :o)

Big up the Norf London Massive!

Shout going out to Ed and Louise - thanks for putting me up and putting up with me etc. Extra big thanks for lending me Lies and the Lying Liars who tell them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right by Al Franken - great book, not such a great website Al! But, by jiminy some of the stuff covered in this book is terrifying. Also very funny though.

Just to put your mind at ease...

Got an email from the person who left us feedback which consited of the letter E in lowercase. She apoligised for the cutting and pasting error (or should that be cut and pasting error - another mystery of modern grammar). Should, of course, have been more along the lines of "Excellent product and service." Well - didn't want you wondering!

Shocking oversight!

I didn't mention the mighty, mighty Spaced in my post about sitcoms. I can't apologise enough for my oversight - this could deffo come either 1st, 2nd or 3rd in favourite UK sitcom of all time, depending on mood.

Ah...families eh?

Just got back from Ol' London Town, where I visited my Dad - we did some really good work together filling out a form to apply for some funding from Screen West Midlands. It's so nice working with him. Also great to see my younger sister Emily (who's ten) and my stepmum Beth. Families are, of course, a complex beast, but I'm not going to dwell on that here!

So - the film I've been writing for over a year feels more solid now - if I can get this funding it will mean devoting myself full time to it again - doing re-writes, but also working on getting it to the next level, and being able to pay for some script editing work from my dad, who will then be able to afford to work on it more - very exciting! Think it's a pretty strong application in terms of meeting their criteria, but I spose it will come down to whether they like the script enough - fingers crossed. If it is meant to be, it shall come to pass. I just need to make sure I do my bit right!

Discuss!

Thought I'd post a "talking point" type of post. It's about sitcoms - the bbc poll thingy's got me thinking in a way I'm sad to report the Big Read couldn't. I just like sitcoms more than books. So - favourite ever sitcom - it's SO hard! The first necessary step is to separate US and UK sitcoms, because they are essentially a different form altogether - US sitcoms are predominantly team written, and have been since the days of Sid Caesaer, whose writers included Woody Allen, Mel Brooks and Neil Simon (who wrote a play about the experience called Laughter on the 23rd floor) amongst many others. The successful ones also last for ages and ages - seinfeld did (I think) 9 seasons of over 20 a season - Friends is finishing after 10 seasons of 24 episodes and Frasier is still going after 11. Whereas the classic british sitcoms of the modern age (by which I mean post 70s, because I have no idea about what used to happen!) generally are shorter lived - Fawlty Towers of course famously ended after 2 series, same with the Office - Dinnerladies (which I love, even though I know it makes me unpopular!) made 3 series of 6 episodes - anyway, you get the gyst...

So, US Sitcoms - well, I've put a lot of thought into this and I think Seinfeld's probably going to pip it - the sheer never ending quality of the writing, the fact that barring the finale it never lost it's edge and brilliance. I love Friends (or at least I did, until about series 6 - since then it's been "only ok" - I could write a long essay on that but I won't.) I also LOVE the Larry Sanders Show, which I am eternally grateful for the lending of the DVD that has taken place (you know who you are!). In fairness though, I could watch US sitcoms all day (and when I had the Paramount comedy channel, I did) but Seinfeld's the one for me.

As for UK sitcoms, Towers just pips Adder to the title , with honourable mentions for The Office and Phoenix Nights. Also, a sneaky outsider, which I really, really, really like is All about me - it's not the best ever, but it's the best "8.30" sitcom in recent memory. The very very very very very poor My Family, and the veryveryveryveryveryveryveryveryreallybeyondajokeunbelievablyawful My Hero being fine examples of how not to do it. And as for the Jamie Theakston one....*shudder* - it's too early to call, but it is auditioning for a place along side 'O'Hanlon's Bane' as it shall now be called...

The reasons for siding with Cleese over Atkinson are tricky to pin down - there's the occasional thing that erks me about Adder, which I can't really say about towers - also, the last episodes of series 2 and 3 of Adder are too unsettling for my delicate tastes (unlike the ending of series 4 - a bit of a cliche to talk about how good that is, but it did make me cry the first time - I'm a big girl's blouse.)

Please comment! Favourite US and UK sitcoms....

e ?!

Would just like to point out that someone (presumably accidentally) left us positive feedback, the sum total of the comment being "e" Not sure what to read into it!

Scratch!

Watched the magnificent documentary Scratch, about Hip hop djs and turntablists and such - very entertaining, nice stylistics, nice chunes. Felt all underground and cool when I recognised a few of the tunes on the sound track. Thanks to Daniel Ross and Rich for that! Now approaching MIDNIGHT! Ah, those not so halcyon days by the sea in a haze at university in Aberystwyth...

Maroon 5 are wrong didley-wrong

Have a track by Maroon 5 in my head. Feel Maroon is not an appropriate colour for a rock band's name. Although perhaps the same would once have been said about purple.

Wait a doggone minute. Isn't maroon essentially purple? Are Maroon 5 what happens when Simply Red crashes into Blue? Perhaps not...

Comments

Lovely to see comments from people not directly in my social circle (as it were!) Many thanks - it's nice to know there are people out there...

Dagnabit

Phill's right, I'm down to sixth on the zimbabwe hutton rotten danger search...

Hurrah!

I'm on the map (very slightly) - A google search for zimbabwe hutton rotten danger puts me at the top of the list. Not sure I can think of anyway that this will help me or the wider world, but such are the idle thoughts one has when awake with ear infection.