Bad TV, Good TV, Bad Music, Good Music

So, first of all, I just have to apologise slightly for the edge of ranting that may appear from time to time in this post...

So, watching tv tonight, and saw A Question of Sport. This is undoubtedly the programme with the worst banter on television. Amusing sporting banter has an uncomfortable relationship with television. There are those who ply the trade with wit and class, such as the mighty Big Ron Atkinson. Then there are the lesser mortals, who hit the highs occasionally, but falter and languish in uncomfortable innuendo much of the time - I speak of you Ray Stubbs, and you Mark Lawrenson. But then, there are those souls destined not for a life of banter, but of the pursuit of higher matters, art perhaps, or classical music, but through an unfortunate twist of fate have ended up in a world of banter to which they can never belong, rendering them into a Brentian or Partridgesque figure. The queen of these must surely be Sue Barker. She makes Ally McCoist look like a comic genius. Which is some feat. She makes Frankie Detori look relaxed and authentic. Which is some feat.

The thing is, I like her - I think she's probably a really nice person, who doesn't want to banter. She's forced into it by team captains, first Parrott and now Detori, with McCoist a constant thorn in her side. They probably tell her after the show that it was amusing. And the QoS audience is the stuff of legend - they of the Argyle jumpers and polyester trousers (what's an Arglye Jumper anyway?). They used to laugh at Emlyn Hughes and Bill Beaumont, so that says something about their tolerance levels - they must be very understanding people.

On to my 2nd Bad TV target for the evening. Mad. About. Alice.

It's bad.

I mean it's really bad.

Two jokes on the trailers (the trailers mind you - the things designed to make you watch the show - the best bits - the comedic highlights if you will. The first showed Theakston (who I always rated as a presenter) playing football and Holden filming him - he said "Make sure you shoot my best side" and she said (wait for it) "What - the back of your head?" Excuse me - I need to stop for a moment to get my breath back, and maybe get a drink of water to recover from the hilarity. The second was the guy whose name escapes me who has been in the tesco ads and was in Gregory's girl doing some tricks with a yoyo to entertain some kids. He did walking the dog and cats cradle and then said "This one's called "Round the World" and he hit himself with the yoyo! Ha! Geddit. *sigh*

Ok - onto bad music. Blazing Squad might not be original targets but boy do they deserve it. I'm against violence of all kinds, but I think I would not be 100% against locking "The Squad" in a room with G Unit and D12...

Right - now the happier and more comfortable ground of good things. I've been watching a lot of downloaded episodes of Seinfeld - amazing. Frighteningly, awe inspiringly brilliantly written. Brilliantly performed and definately the best television comedy ever. Definately....well probably at least...

And on the subject of brilliantly written I heard a track that Westwood ("whassup my dog, my homie, yo dis track is da bomb - wait a minute, what's going on, why am I talking like this - aren't I English??!") played. It was an Eminem track which may or may not be new called Bully, and whilst I am certainly not a fan of his more out there vibe there's something incredible about the power of his honesty when he switches it on. He talks about the wars and "beefs" in hip hop with such authenticity and personal experience. I found it really moving if I'm honest...

right - dats it homeboys and homegirlz - catch ya laterz - peaceout...

currently listening to: the be good tanyas - rain and snow - feel I may need to de-hip-hop after that blast of Westwood...